Parks & Recreation (x)
despite all the booze and drugs and other partying i’ve done since i moved to san francisco, i am now under 200 pounds. halleFUCKINGlujah.
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this is the LONGEST fucking post. took me 5ever to write. i’ll delete it in a few but i just wanted to do it
longest. 2 days. of my life.
last week i agreed to open at Peet’s on Sunday before i realized that it was Bay to Breakers, when my Peet’s is ON the route. my friends said they’d meet me there when i was off at 11. i had to be there at 5:30am. what. the. fuck.
when i was leaving i watched this drunken fool try to shove an empty 6-pack in one of our trash cans, get pissed and knock it over. so i say “you realize who has to clean that up?!” and he just mocked me. so i flipped him off and left. i’d been awake since 4am i did NOT want to be fucked with.
tried to call my friends, no service. there were a LOT of people. i walked in a circle until 11:45 when i finally called bobby who hadnt even gotten out of bed yet. i still wanted to get wasted and walk all the way to the beach so he was going to take the bus to broderick and we could walk. 10 minutes later i called him back saying i just wanted to go home. i couldnt handle it.
bff bobby saved the day and drove to pick me up. we went to smoke weed at china beach in front of robin williams’ house. then we got hungry, he wanted papalote but we didnt consider how packed it would be with wasted idiots. so we went across the street to Lucky to buy shit to make our own tacos. came home, smoked a shitload of weed, watched mrs doubtfire and ate the best tacos. still couldnt sleep until 11 though. i need to do something about this insomnia.
this morning i had to watch chester at 9:30 and THEN close at peets at 3.
OH YEA AND I FORGOT MY PHONE AT CHESTER’S HOUSE.
i answered the phone at Peet’s after i got there, and its my friend Laura telling me “i saw on facebook you didn’t have your phone, i’m in your house and i’m looking at your keys. just wanted you to know so when you get home and you’re without BOTH of them you don’t freak out. i’ll leave them in the mailbox”
I FORGOT MY KEYS TOO.
leaving work, i remembered i needed cat litter. walked to Lucky and bought some, went outside to the bus stop and there wasnt going to be another one for 20 fucking minutes. so i hailed a cab, got home, MY KEYS AREN’T IN THE MAILBOX. i rang the doorbell, nobody answered. so i tried to pop the lock with my ID and it worked [scary how easy it is…]. got up the stairs, realized i had to do it again. it wouldnt work. so i went downstairs to the back of the house and borrowed the dowstairs tenant’s key and FINALLY GOT IN MY HOUSE AT 10:00.
